Kate and Wills – Dealing With Difference

Today my attention is taken by the contrast between the travails of Kate Middleton http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19595221 and the quest for justice around the terrible events at Hillsborough. I am surprised how readily I accept that both headlines seem to be getting equal attention.

I have little against Kate or Wills, they are victims of their circumstance, finding themselves in a lifelong gilded cage (in my view) and they are learning to deal with it. In truth I like the idea that Wills has threatened to sue the Paparazzi, they deserve it, not just for this but for their hounding of Diana, the “gotcha” headline in the Falklands, the  terrible claims they made around Hillsboroough and the constant appeal to the lowest common denominator in society.

The irony is that all this happens in the name of freedom. It is not a freedom I recognise, I see it as an abuse of freedom. Yet the strength of a democratic society lies in our willingness to accept views and ideas, ideas and perceptions we may not like.

This is not much  different from being in a relationship. The challenge is similar. I work a lot with couples, often both are angry because they feel unheard, unseen.

I believe we can have our own values yet we are not in the world to live up to each other’s expectations. The task is to work out how we deal with difference. How can I be with you and be me? How can I be me, with you? In love, in marriage, in relationship, in society?

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